Finding the Right Therapist
Google has arguably made searching for anything online exponentially easier. The search, that is, being that you can find almost anything on the internet. However, knowing when you have found what you are looking for requires far more effort. This has never been truer than when searching for a new therapist that fits your needs. I would say it’s right up there with finding a romantic partner. Where do we start when we decide to take that step? Well, Google of course! Let’s see… ‘Therapists near me’, ‘Mental healthcare’, perhaps more specific, like ‘Black Female Therapists near me’ (Hi there!). Some aspects can automatically do some weeding out for you, like where you live, what insurance you have, the fee you are willing to pay, and what you are seeking therapy for (anxiety, depression, grief, ADHD, etc.). Post-pandemic, a new factor is whether a therapist is seeing clients virtually or in-person. Sites like Psychology Today, Better Help, Good Therapy, and insurance portals do help narrow the options down, much like Match.com, Tinder, eHarmony, and the countless other websites promising love, or at least a good time. But from there, where do you go?
It used to be that you would get a personal referral to a specific therapist or clinic, whether from a friend, family member, coworker, doctor, or someone that has had experience with that therapist. You have some sense of what to expect based on someone else’s experience. Now, while this is still possible, it is also possible that the perfect therapist for you is hidden between a thousand other therapists that come up in your online search. Finding them may take time, trial and error, much like dating. Thankfully, there are some additional ways to cut through the list that comes up in your online search.
Are you looking for someone from a similar background?
Is the gender or age of your therapist important to you?
What about what they specialize in?
Are they affiliated with any hospitals or known programs?
How experienced are they?
When looking at a website, or an online profile, how do you know when they are right for you? As with any profession, each therapist is being sure to put forth their best in a profile, and some do capture personality a bit better than others. But again, how do you know?
The truth is you probably won’t, not right away, at least. Not to say that you can’t get a good vibe from a profile, or something that makes you linger and stands out to you. The next, and perhaps most important step is making contact. Having a brief conversation, even 5 minutes, can help you determine if you might be a good fit with a therapist. Unfortunately, much like while dating, sometimes we might get it wrong. We are not all for everyone, and there is nothing wrong with that. Shopping around is an essential part of your search for the right therapist. Contact several therapists that stand out to you and see what comes up for you when speaking to them, or after a first session. Going into your conversation, have a list of questions to ask that you feel may help you recognize a potential good fit. Both parties, you and the therapist will be feeling each other out during that phone consultation and possible subsequent session. This is normal! It may take a session or two for you to feel confident you have made the right choice or determine that maybe it is not a good fit, and you will continue your journey elsewhere. The difference here, between dating and therapist hunting is there is no need for the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ or ghosting. A good, confident therapist will not take it personally if the fit is not right and may even offer you some referrals to point you in the right direction.
Bottom line, the relationship between you and your therapist is a very personal and unique one. You want to be able to bring any topic, feeling, thought into your therapy sessions and that requires a level of intimacy that takes time, effort, and trust that can only come with someone you are comfortable with. Finding a therapist is a process, so keep an open mind and listen to your gut. Only you know when you have found your match.
